|Gambar penulis sekadar hiasan ;p (OoO.. looks like I'm growing a moustache in this pic (T____T)|
Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope.
He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. "Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maula (Patron, Suppor-ter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people."
Surah Al-Baqarah 286
Do you find that everyone depends on you but you have no one to depend on? It is very stressful sometimes.
From the outside, I probably looked like every one else. On the inside, especially within my heart, I was in shambles.
They says, let yourself go. There's a limitation to certain things you do. You have a husband to take care of. Don't push yourself to do all things for your family. But if I don't then who will take care of them? How could I to let my mom and seorang anak yatim not having proper meal just because I have no time and too tired to do groceries shopping?
To be honest, dalam hati ada terdetik why I'm the first born daughter. Why not no 2, no 3? But then I realized that Allah put me in this place, because HE loves me, and Allah menguji setiap hamba yang Dia sayang. HE knows that I'm strong, that I can do everything.
I will never limit myself for my family. But I still hope, everyone else like my siblings could offer their help and contribute something to the family,as well to learn to take care the family, so that one day I can happily move to Ipoh and stay with my husband.
I just hope that I have power to make everyone happy. Everyone seems happy, me happy too, but within my heart, only Allah knows. Allah knows what is best for us, so why should we complain? We always want the sunshine but HE knows there must be rain. HE knows what best for me. As for now, I believe this is the best for me..
And I have Allah to depend on.. A very charming and kind husband ,he has been a shoulder to cry on.. Alhamdulillah.....